OVERCOMING A LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIP ENDING
The end of a long-term relationship isn’t just about parting ways with someone you loved—it’s about saying goodbye to shared dreams, routines, and a version of the future you envisioned together. It can feel like losing a piece of yourself, bringing up waves of grief, insecurity, and emotional overwhelm. And let’s not forget the physical toll—tightness in your chest, a sinking pit in your stomach, or that numb, hollow feeling. These are all signs of your body reacting to the profound emotional impact of such a change.
But here’s the thing: while it feels like the end, it’s also the beginning of something new—a journey back to yourself. Healing after a breakup is tough, but with time, compassion, and intentional actions, it’s absolutely possible to reclaim your joy and find purpose beyond the relationship.
Step 1: Acknowledge Your Emotions
First things first—feel your feelings. Grief, sadness, anger, relief, or even a weird combination of all these emotions are completely normal. Allowing yourself to feel is the first step to healing. Healing begins with allowing yourself to mourn/grief. Accept the intensity of your emotions, understanding they are a natural response to this kind of wound. Avoiding or suppressing these feelings will only prolong the pain. Instead, try to “ride the waves” of your emotions, letting them flow as they come.
Why you should embrace the feels:
Suppressing emotions delays healing. Pushing them down might feel like a shortcut, but those emotions will resurface when you least expect it.
Emotions are energy in motion. Let them flow. Cry, scream, laugh—whatever you need to do to release that energy, do it.
How to "ride the waves" of emotions:
Create a safe space to cry, journal, or just sit with your feelings.
Identify and name your emotions to take away their power. ("I feel sad" or "I feel angry.")
Practice grounding exercises like deep breathing or mindfulness when the emotions feel overwhelming.
Step 2: Limit Contact with Your Former Partner
It’s tempting to text or check up on them, especially in moments of vulnerability. But staying in touch too soon can reopen wounds and prolong the healing process.
Why limiting contact helps:
It gives you time to focus on yourself without constant reminders of the relationship.
It prevents you from seeking comfort from someone who is no longer part of your support system.
Actionable tips:
Mute or unfollow them on social media (for now).
Ask a trusted friend to hold you accountable if you feel tempted to reach out.
Replace the urge to contact them with something nurturing, like calling a friend, going for a walk, or writing your feelings in a journal.
Step 3: Nurture Your Inner Child
Breakups can stir up childhood wounds—feelings of rejection, abandonment, or unworthiness. This is your chance to comfort and heal your inner child—the part of you that still needs love, security, and validation.
How to nurture your inner child:
Visualization exercise: Close your eyes, take deep breaths, and picture yourself holding your younger self. Offer them love, reassurance, and a promise to protect them.
Journaling: Write letters to your inner child. Acknowledge their pain, remind them they are enough, and commit to showing up for them.
Positive affirmations: Repeat phrases like “I am loved,” “I am worthy,” and “I am whole as I am.”
Step 4: Cut Energetic Ties
We form bonds not only emotionally but energetically. Detaching yourself from your ex energetically can help you reclaim your power and move forward.
Ways to release energetic ties:
Meditation: Practice cord-cutting meditations where you visualize severing energetic ties with your ex.
Books and talks: Explore resources on self-love and energetic healing to guide your journey.
Rituals: Write a letter to your ex (that you don’t send) to release lingering emotions, then burn or safely dispose of it as a symbolic gesture of letting go.
Step 5: Transform the Pain into Purpose
Every breakup offers lessons—about yourself, love, and what you truly want in life. Use this time to reflect and grow into the best version of yourself.
How to find meaning in the experience:
Reflect on your growth: Journal about how the relationship shaped you and the lessons it taught you.
Celebrate your resilience: Acknowledge that you’ve survived something difficult and are stronger for it.
Set new goals: Use this fresh start to focus on personal dreams and aspirations.
Bonus: Practical Self-Care Ideas
Here are some self-care activities to help you heal:
Physical self-care: Go for a run, try yoga, or soak in a relaxing bath.
Creative outlets: Paint, write, or take up a hobby you’ve always wanted to try.
Social support: Surround yourself with friends and family who uplift you.
Solo dates: Rediscover what makes you happy by taking yourself out to a movie, café, or park.
Healing isn’t linear, and that’s okay. Some days will feel lighter, while others might feel heavy again. Be patient and kind to yourself throughout this journey. At the end of the day, the most important relationship you’ll ever have is the one with yourself—and this is your chance to make it the best one yet.
Recognise who you were at the beginning of the relationship, during it, and now are different versions of yourself. Part of moving on is embracing the growth, wisdom, and strength you have gained. Use this experience to empower yourself, knowing that you have the strength to create a life filled with love, joy, and fulfillment on your own terms - independent of anyone else. You’re not just surviving; you’re thriving. One day at a time, you’ll look back on this chapter as the moment you found yourself again.
