How Inner Child Healing Work Helped me Find my voice again
My story is all about self-discovery and healing, with a pivotal moment when I decided to release the emotional baggage that had burdened me for years— shame, guilt, the loss of my voice, feelings of unworthiness, and embarrassment. This process of healing my inner child was far from easy, but it has turned out to be the most freeing and precious gift I've ever given myself.
Baby Photo of Patience Chigodora, Soul Therapist at The InnerVerses
*Sexual Abuse Trigger Disclaimer*
At the tender age of just three years old, I went through something awful. I experienced sexual abuse and molestation from some extended family members. It was a nightmare and made it worse was that it stayed hidden for years - like this big secret. So, it carried on until I was 10.
When I finally mustered the courage to speak up at the age of 5, I got a response from a family member who was intentionally trying to protect me without realising that they were normalising this pain for me. This is also sadly a response all too familiar to many women - "Some things, as women, we're supposed to keep to ourselves." So, I kept it locked away, scared of disrupting our extended family relations—and in turn, I locked away a part of my voice.
As I carried the weight of shame, self-blame, and unanswerable questions, it transformed me into a quiet, introverted child. I hid my true self from the world, and the confident little girl I used to be faded into the background. Loneliness, self-blame, and guilt became my companions. Later on, at the age of seven, I went to boarding school, followed by a move from Zimbabwe to the UK at ten and the loss of my dad at 11. These changes added more layers of unresolved grief and pain.
Growing up, trust was a scarce commodity, and I lived with a constant fear of abandonment. My self-esteem plummeted, and I felt like I didn't matter and that my voice didn't count.
But then, at the age of 14, a simple quote changed everything:
"The longest relationship you'll ever have is the one with yourself."
It really hit home. I went on a journey to understand myself better, especially as I realised I was a recovering people-pleaser conditioned by culture, traditions, and society to prioritise others over myself. I saw the need to give myself the same care and attention I so freely gave others. This journey led me to self-compassion and a reconnection with my inner child — the little girl who had carried all that pain, guilt, and shame for far too long. It was time to set her free.
Now, I'm all about inner child healing. Today, as a qualified Inner Child Healing Specialist & Soul Therapist, I gain immense joy from helping others reconnect with their inner child, finding their voice, reshaping the old stories and embracing their true selves. Ultimately liberating them from the shackles of their past and turning this into love and compassion for the adult self. This is where my story began, and I believe it's a journey anyone can start.
Research says that….
the patterns of how we love, feel loved, and connect with others are often established by the age of 7–10.
That's where our adult behaviours originate. Whenever I feel overwhelmed, anxious, or doubtful, I now recognise that it's my inner child trying to communicate with me. All she wants is to be seen, heard, and loved. So, I make an effort to connect with myself in the same loving, gentle, and curious way I would with my little nephews and nieces.
I ask myself what's coming up during moments of stillness — whether in meditation, journaling, or nature walks. Sometimes, it's as simple as acknowledging my emotions and saying (in my head or out loud), "I'm here. I see you. I hear you. You are welcome to stay as long as you need to." Occasionally, I even give myself permission to offer a comforting hug or a gentle self-massage to ground myself.
If you'd like to start your own inner child healing journey, here's a simple exercise for you:
Set aside just 5 minutes, find a picture of yourself from your younger years (teenage years and below), and gaze at that picture for 5 minutes. Pay attention to what emotions arise.
If you're ready for the next step, download one of our inner child healing letter templates and write letter as your younger self. Acknowledge how you felt back then, what you needed to hear, and how you longed to be loved.
It might sound simple, but this is a powerful way to begin reconnecting with your inner child and start the process of seeing, hearing, and loving that part of yourself.
If you are a reader/audio book lover, I highly recommend these books:
What Happened to You?: Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing by Oprah Winfrey & Dr. Bruce Perry
A screenshot from Good Reads
How to Do the Work: Recognize Your Patterns, Heal from Your Past, and Create Yourself by Dr. Nicole LePera
A screenshot from Good Reads
Now that you've glimpsed into my story and got a sneak peek into why I am the way I am and why I do what I do, if you're contemplating sharing your own story but find fear holding you back, please know that you're not alone in that struggle.
However, it's important to recognise that speaking your truth is incredibly worthwhile. When you do, you liberate yourself and extend a hand to others, letting them know they're not alone either. Each of us carries a unique story, and by sharing, we embark on a journey of healing for ourselves and others. Let's start sharing and heal ourselves and each other in the process.
If you’d like to connect further, you can:
🙋🏾♀️ Book a FREE Discovery Call: Explore our 1:1 or group hypnotherapy, spiritual life coaching, and intuitive spiritual reading sessions.
💌 Enquire About Collaborations: take a look at ways you can partner up with us including workshops, speaking engagements, and other collaborations.
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🎥 Stream The Podcast: Listen to ‘The INNERVERSES empowered by Patience Chigodora’ on YouTube, Spotify, Amazon Music, and Apple Podcasts.
